YOUTH

Friday, August 31, 2007

7:04 AM

seems like..
all my family member is falling ill.
i just sincerely wish that illness don't revolve around my family member.
i love them dearly, pls don't take anyone of them away. i dont want to be left alone.

hang on, siewlin. when all else fall, you still hav urself as a major source of support.

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY.
wong lao shi gave me a big hug today. she's so cute.
ella gave me a big hug too! work hard sweety, i know you can do it.
the concert was nice...realli nice.
after school, kc walk me home. i didnt bring my keys home.
shouted for uncle but no one answer. i should have stay for awhile, he's at home, but i didnt....i should hav....
look up for kc. went for lunch and breakfast.
met soooo many ppl, i'm lazy to mention. basically its all kc's friend. i have none. haha!
fool around with him, bully him! i'm attacking his ass now! improving...
after that, reach hm and went out with mum again.
saw crystal and i want mum to take a look at crystal, coz she's so sweet.
so grab mum by the hand and ran...HAHAHA!!! SHE FELL DOWN!
i was laughing like hell man! laughing so hard, my stomach hurts like hell.

today seems so short.
i love his company. something i don't dare to wish for and i don't want to think of it more. cause one day i must put a crucial full stop to it myself. if time can stop, i dearly wish so. it's getting harder and harder for me to turn back even if i stand there motionlessly.Can someone tell me. just one word. am i in the right or wrong?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

11:19 PM

I’m not the easiest person to love
I’m often the one who let things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
Yeah you choose to be on the side of me
On the side of me

I’m not too proud of doing some things
I’ve done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
Blessed Charity
You’re on the side of me
On the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
When it’s cold outside
And there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
All alone I cried
There was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
But you

I’m not the easiest person to love
But you, you’ve opened your heart to show me what I’m worth
‘Cause you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
What a mystery
You’re on the side of me
On the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
When it’s cold outside
And there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
All alone I cried
There was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you
Yeah you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me

11:08 PM

work it harder,
make it better.
do it faster,
makes me stronger.

Monday, August 27, 2007

5:57 AM

I LOVE CORRINNE MAY.

a real local talent who had yet been fully develop.
she can really sing well, went to her official web, fall in i love with her first hit "beautiful seed" immediately.
she got really realli nice voice.
so guys, try listen to her song. YOU'LL LOVE IT.

didnt attend choice today.
went home immediately, went out with daddy, mummy and sis to pray and do offerings to our late ah gong and ah ma.
dad told us a story. i know he is trying to send us a message.
alright. i'll try to do it in future.
Dine in siamese resturant at tanjong pajah.
the food was delicious and their service was excellent.
daddy tried to play a joke on me! haha. i got real panic loh.
when he bill comes, he pretend to walk away, leaving me staring at the waitress blankly. sms kc all the way until i reach hm.
almost ended up in a small conflict again but he ceased the fire. HOHO!

Friday, August 24, 2007

7:16 PM

i hate going to sleep with trouble in my mind.
my blood is boiling like mad, conflicts and arguement never end.
however, the fault lies in me.

i love the song freshly uploaded in my blog.
it left me shaken the moment they broadcast this song on the radio.
good song is like falling in love.
how long will the spark and power in this song last....
sooner or later, new songs will hit the town, and the old ones will get out cast.

prelim is not right at the corner but in front of us.
i want to ripe the old thinking off my mind, tried a totally different strategy. dont know if i'm putting myself at risk. will it backfire?
talk to dad about my phobia in lab. "take it easy, the same amount of time is given to everyone, if they can do it, so can you"
"throw in everything you'hv learn"

hope luck is by my side, no amount of words can express my fear.
i just pray hard that everything goes right on tuesday.

LORD, GIVE ME STRENGTH.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

4:59 AM

I LOVE READER'S DIGEST!!!

read it and i never fail to learn new things from it.
hope dajie recover soon. she have alot of "SHITTING" problem.
gear myself up, consequences would be terrifying if i dont put in effort in my studies.
kept PMS-ING these few days, kc suffered alot.
emotion and physical abused by me.
thanks god. he's right by my side.
i must try my best to get over the tremble i face when i'm in the lab.
somehow, i lost the ability to think. i wouldnt think straight, except for the sentense which never fail to resound in my head. "time is running out , time is running out", "do it faster, do it faster"
my hand was tremble vigourously, i cant find my point and i cant draw a proper straight line.
i never felt this way before, NEVER! for my entire 17 years of life.
and i indeed hate this feeling very much.
i wonder how am i gonna pour the chemical into my test-tube.
LORD, GIVE ME STRENGTH.

Friday, August 17, 2007

7:07 AM

FIRST OF ALL!
congrats to alicia.
the feeling of accomplishment and not obligation is sweet isnt it!
i told you, you can do it and you'hv make it!
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!

this week passes by in the speed of light.
zoom! so fast i thought there's only 4days in a week,
haha!
after sch. chill out with geri, kc and ds.
watch rush hour 3.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

2:53 AM

it goes like this

me: mum, i'hv gotten my chinese result.
mum:how was it??
me: i'hv got a B3
mum: i thought you tell me you'll get an A
me: AIYA! accident will happened de ma!

seriously, i'm disenchanted. i was utterly dissapointed by my result and maybe my over-complacent attitube.
kept telling my classmate, "nvm one lah! retake loh"
"i'm confident i'll get an A if i retake" this is what i told my classmate.
in the mist of recollection, i'm starting to doubt, do i realli possessed the quality or am i just putting a false hope on myself.
this time round, i'm lucky.
i fell and i was given a chance to pick myself up again.
if the same thing was to happened to my other subjects.
HOLY CRAP, WHOSE GONNA GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE AGAIN.
i'm worried, seriously worried.
but i'm not gonna let this stupid grade pull my moral down.
SAVE ME FROM ME, i'm the only one who can pull myself up from the bottomless pit of dissapointment.

PIQUED OF ANGER.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

3:16 AM

saturday

woke up quite late this morning.
did my usual routine and around 2pm alicia msg me.
i got quite worried by her sudden approach, thought something bad happened to her.
so we decided to meet at 3pm.
thanks kc for making the effort to come out, just to walk me to cwp.
met alicia and we ahd some coffee talks! haha.
enjoy it, just idle around, eating my ice cream waffle and making up small chat.
she walk me home after that. thanks!
mum took us out today, she took me and my sis to a chinese doctor, i got really serious sweaty palms problem. wasnt much of a big deal, just a lil bit disgusting.
reach hm around 10pm. dined outside.
called kc up on the phone, chat for around 2hrs hang up the phone at around 12.45nm. he went out for a mahjong session with sam they all.

- the fun and laughter, caring and concern are part of the mating games, calculated to creat a sense of euphoria. BUT EUPHORIA DOESNT LAST.
teen year are years of experimentation.
teen relationships almost never survive.

maybe this is what we see, if we take one step back and view it as a general. many people fail to do that, cause we are equally blinded by the excitement and pleasure. "euphoria doesnt last" so harsh but so true.

Friday, August 10, 2007

10:15 PM

friday

was like wake up at 9.30am.
bath and got ready to meet kc for the movie.
wait for him near the bus stop and one guy approach me.
i feel very very irritated when guy behave like that.
TA MA DE! spoilt wo de mood ar!

kc was late, due to some legal problem.
eh! i told you many times not to do it right. see lah, here comes the problem. some ppl just have to learn it the hard way!
went to osmose to get my top! i'm so so happy!!
make our way to the cathay. chit chat and played his psp.
god! i'm a geek when comes to playing games,
kc was laughing at me throughout the whole journey.

brought our tickets to the secret.
we had our lunch at billy bombers. damn expensive loh!
but the ice cream was so damn nice lah!
the secret wasnt realli that nice lah, kinda so out of reach.
this kinda thing don't happened in reality.
after the movie, from ps we walk to orchard.
went poll and bear to buy a shirt for his friend as a birthday gift.
btw! happi birthday eechong!
shop around and we're done for the day.

getting him a wallet, a tee and that adidas thingy soon!

fought with him over some trivial thing ytd night, it's my fault.
i won't apologize. cause things like that is gonna happened again, its the matter of time, you see.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

5:02 AM

STEADY HANDS, JUST TAKE THE WHEEL.
EVERY GLANCES IS KILLING ME.

STOP AND STARE,
I THOUGHT I'M MOVING BUT I GOT NOWHERE.
STOP AND STARE,
YOU START TO WONDER WHY YOU'RE HERE NOT THERE.

STEADY FEETS, DON'T FAIL ME NOW.
GONNA RUN TILL YOU WALK

SOMETHING PULL MY FOCUS OUT....

woke up to a brand new day,
the air is fresh, everything is nice and clear.
things tend to flip so drastically,
the wind that blows against the wave, collision is everywhere.
just like you and me.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

7:37 AM

DAJIE,
so happy to see you smile once again in your pic, but lets hope that what i see is realli what i see, nth more than meets the eyes behind it.
no matter what you do, choose what that really bring happiness.
you taught me one thing, i'll always rmb it.
the journey is where you find your life, happiness, sorrow, bitter and sour.
yeps. pick up the phone. what meant to be will be.
just bear this in mind, whenever you've lost your bearing.
" your life is not just your life, it comprises kinship, friendship and love"
hey! you cant break down before me lah. i'm selfish like hell loh.
whose gonna help me up if i fall one day!

ALICIA,
thanks for bringing my stuff to me! thanks alot. its so heavy man.
just wanna tell you. i know you're sad abt what he did to you that day. but this is him, this is what that makes him. " love him. love him as a whole. love his every single thing" thats what you tell me.
i know it's always easy when i'm sitting here saying things and not the one in the situation. However, no matter what you do, me and geri will be right beside you.

hey! its funny.
i never thought i'll do stuff like that. amusement is annoying.
btw, to that guys who msg me saying all those crazy stuff.
"i'm full of hatred, i don't feel anything"
i guess dajie knows that person pretty well.
but, his every single words betray him completely, he eats up his own words. its full of anger but it's pure.
"who i am hates who i'hv been" what a beautiful song by relient k.
just in case he passby, but i think it will nv happened.
i guess he would be saying this " for fcuk sake, you don't know a single thing abt me"

LIFE IS LIKE THAT, CANT EXPECT EVERYTHING TO GO SMOOTHLY.

Monday, August 6, 2007

10:46 PM

woke up feeling painful somewhere...
told mum about it and she wants me to stay at home.
do as what she said, went to sleep.
dreamt of something wonderful, dont feel like waking up at all.
sms dajie at around 9am, she called me during recess.
had a chat with her, alicia and kc.

feeling incensed is just not the way.
for those who knows what i'm talking about.
for her
i won't offer any consolation, for i knew that she will finally strengthen her thought.
every drops of tears she shed is lifting her up.
for what i believe.
i'll be standing right beside you.